The Hidden Cost of Optimization: What Spreadsheets Miss

Author: Alma Pajova, MAFM | May 8th, 2025

Xartis Wealth Advisors, Financial Strategist

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We’re obsessed with optimizing. Tracking our steps. Logging our meals. Measuring our sleep. Cutting expenses. Clearing clutter. Even our relationships have a multi-step guide to “hack” them into perfection.

Every moment is a data point, a puzzle to solve. Life is reduced to charts, timelines, and efficiency. But deep down, we know: Life isn’t a formula. It doesn’t fit neatly into a spreadsheet.

It’s messy. It’s unpredictable. And more often than not, the spreadsheet will tell you whether something makes sense. But it can’t tell you if it’s right. And it certainly can’t measure if it’s worth it.

The truth is, worth isn’t about numbers. It’s about experiences. About how it feels to be alive. About what you choose to live for. And often, the real meaning only hits you in hindsight.

So, what’s the better question to ask?

Instead of asking, “What’s the smartest move?” ask yourself: "What will bring me peace—not just progress?"

I didn’t always know how to ask this. But it took a few key decisions to realize this.

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Decision #1: The Cost of Racing Through Life—And What I Lost

In 2006, I was the epitome of optimization.

I crammed in 2 majors and 1 minor in 2 years, graduating from a top-tier private college in half the time. The cost of my education was half that of my peers. Victory, right?

But here’s the thing no one told me about rushing through college like it was a Black Friday sale: you pay a bigger price than you realize.

I never lived on campus. I spent three hours a day commuting. Worked part-time year-round. Took six classes a semester, summers included. No breaks. No time to breathe. To intern. To study abroad. To just be.

By the time I crossed the stage, I had a degree and burnout in equal measure. Sure, my diploma was cheaper. But my post-grad job search? Brutal. No network. No experience. Just exhaustion.

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Decision #2: Starting My 20s in My 30s

After college, I was still lost. At that time, I had been in the US for 4 years, but something felt off. Like I’d jumped into a world that didn’t speak my language (literally). I didn’t fit in, not in the U.S. and not in myself.

So, I left. I flew back to Albania, to chase something spreadsheets couldn’t compute: alignment.

Sure, financially, it was not the smartest move. But in my heart, it made perfect sense.

I found work that mattered. I found purpose. I found a community of women who fed my soul. And I found my first love.

Eventually, I returned to the US for good, with a fiancé in tow, ready to start from scratch. Our marriage didn’t last, but my son came out of it—the best “non-financial decision” I’ve ever made.

All the “non financially smart” choices? They gave me clarity. And they gave me the chance to pivot and be at peace with myself.

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Decision #3: Buying at the “Wrong” Time

Let me take you to 2022. The housing market was insane. Interest rates climbing. Demand soaring. The financial planner in me said, “Wait. This isn’t the right time.”

But here’s the thing: we were done waiting. We had been renting for years, and while it made financial sense, we were ready for our own home.

We walked into this house, nestled in a quiet town with tree-lined streets and amazing schools. And we knew. Even though the mortgage rates weren’t ideal, we bought it.

What did we really buy?

• A home for Monday night board games and Wednesday improv rehearsals

• A backdrop for birthdays, snow days, and Fourth of July barbecues

• A sacred space to create long lasting memories

You won’t find “community” in a cost-benefit analysis. But you’ll feel it in the way your life fits.

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How to Make the Right Decisions—for You

So how do you make the big decisions that truly matter?

Here’s my approach, the one I use for myself and my clients:

1. Run the numbers. Understand the risks, rewards, and timelines. That part’s easy if you’ve got a good financial partner on your side.

2. Zoom out. Ask yourself: What’s the non-financial cost? What’s the emotional, relational, spiritual price I’ll pay?

Still unsure?

Imagine yourself at 90. Surrounded by grandkids, memories, and photo albums. What choices will you be proud of? What regrets will you wish you’d avoided?

Will you regret the “perfect” financial decisions? Or will it be the risks you took to live with purpose and joy?

Financial safety is important, but living only for safety? That’s half a life.

Spreadsheets? They show you numbers. But they can’t measure everything that makes life worth living.

Let your values lead. Because sometimes, the “wrong” choice on paper is the one that brings you closer to the life you were meant to live.

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